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The Shadow Negotiation
How Women Can Master the Hidden Agendas That Determine Bargaining Success
By Deborah Kolb and Judith Williams
Table of Contents
About The Book
At last, here is a book that shows women how to recognize the Shadow Negotiation -- in which the unspoken attitudes, hidden assumptions, and conflicting agendas that drive the bargaining process play out -- and how to use that knowledge to their advantage.
Each time people bargain over issues -- a promotion, a contract with a new client, a bigger role in decision-making -- a parallel negotiation unfolds beneath the surface of the "formal" discussion. Bargainers constantly maneuver to determine whose interests and needs will hold sway, whose opinions will matter, and how cooperative each person will be in reaching an agreement.
How the issues are resolved hangs on the actions people take in the shadow negotiation, yet it is in this shadow negotiation that women most often run into trouble. The most productive negotiations take place when strong advocates can connect with each other. Good results depend equally on a bargainer's positioning her ideas for a fair hearing and on being open to the other side's point of view. But traditionally women have not fared well on either front. Often, they let negotiable moments slip by and take the first "no" as a final answer, or their efforts to be responsive to the other side's position are interpreted as accommodation. As a result, women can come away from negotiations with fewer dollars, perks, plum assignments, or less say in decision-making than men.
To negotiate effectively, women must pay attention to acts of self-sabotage as well as to the moves others make in the shadow negotiation. By bargaining more strategically, women can establish the terms of their advocacy, their voice, and at the same time encourage the open communication essential to a collaborative discussion in which not only acceptable, but creative, agreements can be worked out.
Written by Deborah M. Kolb and Judith Williams, two authorities in the field, The Shadow Negotiation shows women a whole new way to think about the negotiation process. Kolb and Williams identify the common stumbling blocks that women encounter and present a game plan for turning their particular strengths to their advantage. Based on extensive interviews with hundreds of business-women, The Shadow Negotiation provides women with a clear, insightful guide to the hidden machinations that are at work in every bargaining situation.
Each time people bargain over issues -- a promotion, a contract with a new client, a bigger role in decision-making -- a parallel negotiation unfolds beneath the surface of the "formal" discussion. Bargainers constantly maneuver to determine whose interests and needs will hold sway, whose opinions will matter, and how cooperative each person will be in reaching an agreement.
How the issues are resolved hangs on the actions people take in the shadow negotiation, yet it is in this shadow negotiation that women most often run into trouble. The most productive negotiations take place when strong advocates can connect with each other. Good results depend equally on a bargainer's positioning her ideas for a fair hearing and on being open to the other side's point of view. But traditionally women have not fared well on either front. Often, they let negotiable moments slip by and take the first "no" as a final answer, or their efforts to be responsive to the other side's position are interpreted as accommodation. As a result, women can come away from negotiations with fewer dollars, perks, plum assignments, or less say in decision-making than men.
To negotiate effectively, women must pay attention to acts of self-sabotage as well as to the moves others make in the shadow negotiation. By bargaining more strategically, women can establish the terms of their advocacy, their voice, and at the same time encourage the open communication essential to a collaborative discussion in which not only acceptable, but creative, agreements can be worked out.
Written by Deborah M. Kolb and Judith Williams, two authorities in the field, The Shadow Negotiation shows women a whole new way to think about the negotiation process. Kolb and Williams identify the common stumbling blocks that women encounter and present a game plan for turning their particular strengths to their advantage. Based on extensive interviews with hundreds of business-women, The Shadow Negotiation provides women with a clear, insightful guide to the hidden machinations that are at work in every bargaining situation.
Product Details
- Publisher: Simon & Schuster (February 13, 2001)
- Length: 256 pages
- ISBN13: 9780743215121
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Raves and Reviews
Tom Peters A book on negotiation a "page turner"? Yes! Kolb and Williams capture and keep my attention from front to back. Negotiation is a ubiquitous issue in the professional world, and the authors provide brilliant analysis and advice. Though this is an avowed book for women, I gained greatly from my tour of these pages. Well done!
Ellen Stafford-Sigg and Mary Ellen Rodgers Partners and Leaders of the Initiative for the Retention and Advancement of Women, Deloitte and Touche LLP Drawing from many all-too-real scenarios in which professional women limit their options in negotiation, Kolb and Williams reveal critical facets of the negotiation process that must first be recognized and then turned to their advantage. With its original insights and down-to-earth advice, The Shadow Negotiation is a must-read.
William Ury Coauthor of Getting to Yes and Author of Getting Past No Whether at work or at home, negotiation has become the preeminent process for making decisions. Every woman can benefit from this wise and practical guide to the hidden dimensions of negotiation -- and every man too!
Swanee Hunt Director, Women & Public Policy Program, Kennedy School of Government, Harvard University Combining powerful insights with candid interviews, Kolb and Williams unmask the hidden biases women confront in negotiation and lay out a program for overcoming them. With an array of examples, the book demonstrates how women's invisible work of relationship building and skill in fostering cooperation can transform adversarial disputes into creative collaborations. The Shadow Negotiation provides men and women with an original and innovative framework for approaching the most challenging conflict situations.
Jacqueline Morby Venture Capitalist, and Managing Partner, TA Associates The Shadow Negotiation is a fascinating book -- packed with insights for any woman who wants to increase her effectiveness at the bargaining table. The book reveals the ways women are likely to stumble in negotiation and then lays out a clear, practical game plan for success in making their voices and their demands count.
Judy George Founder and CEO, Domain Home Fashions The subtle emotional thread woven through the candid stories of businesswomen at work in The Shadow Negotiation captures the hidden dynamics of negotiation. The lessons these women have learned while charting new paths toward success are invaluable.
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