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True Confessions of an Ambivalent Caregiver

A Memoir in Essays

Published by She Writes Press
Distributed by Simon & Schuster

About The Book

Written for caregivers of parents and spouses, this funny but brutally honest collection of essays from award-winning author Eastman challenges the romanticized notion of caregiving, portraying it as an elegant conflict that reshapes family dynamics.

At first grateful to be able remodel the dining room of her family’s modest home in Connecticut to accommodate her eighty-six-year-old father for what everyone felt would be a short duration of care, Cindy Eastman ultimately experienced a whole gamut of feelings over the course of what turned out to be four years of caring for her dying dad. Caregiving impacts everyone, and this account—told in essays recorded before, during, and after the time Eastman’s father was with her—details that impact, not just on the primary caregiver but also the rest of the family.

One of the reasons Eastman committed to writing down her experiences was because she predicted that once her dad died, there would be a tendency to soften or even deny any of the negative and challenging times—and there were many. As of 2020, more than 53 million adults provide homecare in this country, and the reality of that arrangement is different for every family. It is not, as some might suggest, a “noble gesture” but rather an elegant conflict—an intricate reassembling of the family dynamic that many people don’t ever see coming. In these candid, often poignant essays, Cindy Eastman brings all the emotions of taking on the challenging responsibility of caregiving a parent at the end of their life to the surface.

About The Author

Cindy Eastman is an award-winning author whose work is informed by her ability to be an observer as well as a participant in her life. Cindy’s first book, Flip-Flops After 50: And Other Thoughts On Aging I Remembered To Write Down, was published in 2014. She has essays in several other anthologies and in online magazines and writes a weekly essay called Silver Linings. She is the creator of the “Writual” writing program, has presented nationally at the Story Circle Network Women's Writing Conference, and has been a featured speaker on a number of panels and programs. An educator for over twenty-five years, she has a master’s degree in education and is an adjunct at Naugatuck Valley Community College teaching English. Cindy lives with her husband, Angelo, in Watertown, Connecticut.

Product Details

  • Publisher: She Writes Press (September 17, 2024)
  • Length: 168 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781647427191

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Raves and Reviews

“An unfiltered, invitingly irreverent look at what it means to be an adult caretaker.”Kirkus Reviews

A courageous memoir about the dark side of caregiving. As a psychotherapist who works with caregivers in the areas of cancer, neurological diseases, and dementia, this memoir is a reassuring read to anyone who has struggled with the complexities of caring for another human being. Eastman writes of the frustrations, the guilt, the exhaustion, and the difficulties of maintaining one’s own life as a caregiver, and brings attention to the serious issues of aging and eldercare in the United States.”—Cheryl Krauter, MFT, author of Surviving the Storm, Psychosocial Care of Cancer Survivors, and Odyssey of Ashes

“If there’s such a thing as a palliative read, then True Confessions of an Ambivalent Caregiver was that for me. It’s no small feat—on the page or in life— to keep a daughter’s love shining through a father’s decline, but Cindy Eastman has shown us the way. She’d argue with being called heroic, but with courage, honesty and wry wit propelling these essays, ambivalence has never looked so generous.”—Elinor Lipman, award-winning author of sixteen books of fiction and nonfiction, most recently Ms. Demeanor

“In a series of poignant, well-crafted essays, Cindy Eastman writes about her life before, during and after taking care of her elderly father. Her experiences show caregivers that they are not alone with their fluctuating feelings of guilt, anger, sadness, and joy. But this is way more than just a book for caregivers: it is a story of love between a daughter and her father, one that everyone can benefit from reading.”—Janie Emaus, author of the picture books, Latkes for Santa Claus and Easter Eggs and Matzo Balls and the adult novel, The Advice Columnist

“Cindy Eastman’s book couldn’t have come at a more perfect time for someone like myself, who is beginning the journey of caring for an elderly parent. Eastman covers everything—from the mundane to the moving—in a book that is as much a guide as it is a best friend. Most of us will grapple with the challenge, pain, and joy of taking care of a loved one, and I can’t think of a better person to lead us through than Eastman.”—David Leite, author of Notes on a Banana: A Memoir of Food, Love, and Manic Depression

“Both cautionary tale and how-to manual, Cindy Eastman’s collection of essays on caring for her elderly father in her home is a ‘real-time’ chronicle of the madness (and the occasional joy) that accompanies the honorable and deeply challenging endeavor of caring for a loved one. We are treated to honest storytelling that will resonate with all family caregivers in the murky middle of the journey. Every family caregiver will recognize themselves in this humorous, vulnerable, questioning memoir of life on the frontline. And feel less alone.”—Gretchen Staebler, author of Mother Lode: Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver

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